The idea is that when they feel closer to you and more understood, your capacity to guide them and to be heard by them is expanded. This doesn’t mean that you’ll approve of how they’ve expressed themselves. When you listen empathetically, the connection between you and your child will deepen, as will their budding self-awareness. What is empathetic listening?Įmpathetic listening involves tuning in to what your child is feeling. This is where empathetic listening is gold. There is something more important than understanding the situation, and that’s understanding how they feel about it. Their experiences might not always make logical sense, but they don’t need to (cue the distress at discovering there’s no Dory in Dory yoghurt). The key lies in trying to understand what your child is experiencing.
When your child is broken-hearted, furious, or confused, empathetic listening can help you to break through. As with so much of life, the best way to learn is often in the midst of the mess. As draining and as maddening as these situations can be, they are rich with the lessons that all kids need to learn to be healthy, capable, thriving adults. The opportunities will often be hidden in big feelings, tantrums, resistance, tears, tempers, frustration, anxiety, sadness, jealousy, confusion. Opportunities for empathetic listening will present themselves all the time, but they won’t always present themselves gently. So much to learn!>Empathetic listening is a powerful way to build this emotional awareness in children, open them up to your guidance and grow their emotional intelligence. It’s why the apprenticeship towards adulthood starts at the small human stage and lasts decades.
Empathetic listening how to#
A big part of this involves being aware of how we feel and how others feel, and managing those feelings to preserve relationships and satisfy needs. None of us were born knowing how to do this. Being able to respond and interact with the world whole-heartedly is fuel for flight and healthy living.
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